The Nightjar
by XxMildredxX
Summary: Sherlock downloads the game "The Nightjar" onto his iPhone. Unfortunately, John becomes addicted to it, but at the same time, gets very frustrated with the narrator. "Yes, I know I fell over! No need to keep telling me!" Crack. Companion for "Tumblr".


**Summary: John gets hooked onto the game **_**The Nightjar **_**on Sherlock's iPhone. He gets very frustrated with the narrator.**

**Again, I apologise in advance.**

**This will only make sense if you know what **_**The Nightjar **_**is about. Basically, you have to navigate your way through a "space ship" (called **_**The Nightjar. **_**Like **_**The Enterprise **_**;]) in total darkness, by tapping with the thumbs on the touch pad- each tap in one footstep. If you go too fast you fall over. Benedict Cumberbatch tells you want to do through headphones, to avoid being eaten by aliens, and he gets rather pissy if you screw it up, or if you fall over. It's quite a cool game!**

"John, pass me my phone."

Sherlock held out his hand expectantly, palm up, eyes still trained on the specimen he had under the microscope. If the chemical he was looking at matched the stain found on the victim's clothes, then the case would be closed. He just needed to text Lestrade.

"John?"

He looked up, wondering where he blogger was.

"Oh, for pity's sake!"

John was sitting in the corner, hunched over Sherlock's iPhone, headphones on, and was tapping rhythmically on the screen with his thumbs.

"John!" Sherlock called out again, half-annoyed, half-intrigued. Ever since Sherlock had absently downloaded the app _The Nightjar _onto his phone, John had been addicted. Sherlock had hoped that the distraction of a new case would get John away from this silly game, but apparently not. John couldn't hear Sherlock, but instead was concentrating _very hard _on the screen, his tongue poking out between his teeth as he continued tapping.

"John?" Sherlock tried again.

"Oh fuck off you wanker! I know I fell over! You don't have to keep telling me, motherfucker!" John suddenly exploded, stabbing the screen with his thumbs.

Sherlock jumped at the outburst, the calm quiet of their kitchen disturbed by John yelling at a _game._

"John!" Sherlock cried out, and finally John looked up.

"Yeah? What?" he asked absently, pulling his headphones away from his ears.

"Will you put that infernal game away, already?" Sherlock said impatiently.

"Oh. But I've only got two levels left-"

"I don't care! Please! I need to text Lestrade!" Sherlock said, wondering when _he _had become the rational one.

"Sorry," John muttered, and slapped the phone into Sherlock's outstretched hand. "It's so bloody frustrating, though."

Sherlock just rolled his eyes, and began composing the text to Lestrade.

"He's all _'You're in the holding bay. Let's go torch some alien babies'_," John impersonated the game, deepening his voice and purposefully making a mockery out of it in his irritation. "And then, after I've spent _ages _on one level, he starts yelling at me! _'Run! Run! Don't fall! If you fall, It will hear you!' _blah, blah, blah. You know what I have to say to that?"

Sherlock ignored him, but John continued anyway.

"Fuck you, Mister! You're all safe and happy! _I'm _the one running away from aliens in space! Why don't _you _try it! In pitch black! With some poncy fucker muttering in your ear to _go faster, _or to _move, now! _I don't need his unhelpful critique! I'm not a child- I don't need to be told off!"

"John-"

"But no! All I want is to get to the sensor, so I can activate the lift! I don't need him telling me to _take off my suit!"_

"John-"

"And what's worse, is that there's some sort of vibrating thing in it, so the whole thing is vibrating in my hands! Then, I'm just walking along and _bam! _Everything is vibrating, and he's whispering in my ear that I'm doing it all wrong, and there are aliens coming to kill me-"

"_John!"_

"Hmm? Yes? Sorry, what?"

"Do me a favour, and shut up."

There was a pause, and Sherlock breathed a sigh of relief, thinking John had gone away to brood by himself.

"You sound just like _him_ when he's telling me off," John muttered sulkily, and stalked away.

Sherlock made a mental note to uninstall the app as soon as humanly possible.

**I hope it made you smile. **

**This will only make sense if you've played The Nightjar. It's a very interesting game. Made better by the voice porn. Sorry, did I say porn? I meant to say **_**narration. **_**Slip of the tongue.**

**Let me know what you think!**

**Mx**


End file.
